In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
