she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
