Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have demons in me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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