hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
