So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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