marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
