I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
