i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
