After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
