you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
