my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My balls are so social today.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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