Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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