How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
