Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
