Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
