I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
