Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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