You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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