As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
