she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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