I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
