its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
