I think I am morally bankrupt
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
