I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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