Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
