I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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