how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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