Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
