fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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