Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
