Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We're too hungover to prance.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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