You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
