oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize