I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
