OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
