i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
