I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
