i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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