I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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