My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
