Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize