Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize