Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
