I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
