And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
