Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
