my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
