I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
