distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
