Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
