The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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