My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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