Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
