Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
