Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
