So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
