put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize